A Christmas poem
Sydney Morning Herald
Saturday December 12, 2009
After a long silence from that troubled apartment complex Dardanelle Towers, this poem arrived in time for Christmas. For those unfamiliar with the Towers (see flat-chat.com.au), Lady Luckby is a nonagenarian who thinks she still owns the building and the other owners are her tenants, Elena is a pet-deprived, lovelorn Lebanese lady and Mr Wilson is a classic "jobsworth" building manager:They've cancelled Christmas at Dardanelle TowersThe committee debated for hours and hoursUntil they issued this decreeThis year there'll be no Christmas treeA twinkling fir in our foyerIs definitely not OKAccording to those that be the powersThey've cancelled Christmas at Dardanelle Towers.They've cancelled Christmas at Dardanelle TowersWe thought because the building's oursWe could stick up anything we likedBut the Christmas tree idea was spikedApparently, it's not P.C.To have a fairy on a treeLady Luckby had to have her sayShe said a fairy'd look quite ... gayBut there'll be no tree or festive flowersThey've cancelled Christmas at Dardanelle Towers.They've cancelled Christmas at Dardanelle TowersAnother victory for the wowsersThe chair said we need sensitivityWhen it comes to the nativityLady Luckby, with Elena fixed in her visionSaid Muslims should try to respect our traditionsElena, Lebanese, said: "I'm Christian, too.""Muslims can be Christians?" says Lady L. "Who knew?"But it was red tape not religion that turned so sourAs to cancel Christmas at Dardanelle Towers.They've cancelled Christmas at Dardanelle TowersMr Wilson said tree lights were a drain on the powerThen there's the danger from small girls and boysTripping on tinsel as they fight over toysYou can't break bylaws with impunityHe cites fire risk, access, mess and sanityA bylaw on sanity? That gives me pauseEveryone knows there's no sanity clauseBut that's why a P.C., tree-free Noel is ours'Cos they've cancelled Christmas at Dardanelle Towers.Have a cool and peaceful Christmas.
© 2009 Sydney Morning Herald